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She waited. For years, Trixy waited patiently never fully knowing for whom or what. From beneath an old, ragged tarp the days, weeks, and months passed by and none without reflection of her glory days. Almost two hundred thousand miles and thirty six years separated her from her prime, that fateful day she rolled off the lot as a brand new machine. Now, her faded red paint no longer glimmered youthfully and her dented frame showed the cost of her experience. A mighty eight-cylinder engine, once a testament to American engineering, served little function more than housing wildlife. Regardless of her faults and despite her age, time failed to make her forget what she was. More than roadworthy; she was road-deserving. She was a Cadillac.
Throughout her exile from the world of pavement and parking lots, Trixy’s stance never waivered. For as long as there was life left in her, she’d present herself with all of the regal elegance befitting her Eldorado title. As such, she refused to become just another used car. So it seemed fate’s cruel joke that she be sold as one for a mere fraction of her original sticker price. Trixy could forgive the price tag, but she greatly resented the lack of a test drive. Being bought unseen drained her of all but the last of her hope. Though she once dreamed a change of ownership would reintroduce her to the highway, her feelings way beneath a horrible truth. She’d been purchased to be parted out.
Having just returned from Wal-Mart, Coop took a moment to look around. He thought back over the last seven years and the four different states he’d called home. He’d seen a lot of things, but this… An RV park in Montana hardly felt like a fitting place for a Cadillac. He’d hoped that his legendary smooth ride would give his owner an appreciation for the finer things in life. Perhaps it had. Nate was a caring owner, but never a man of means.
Lately Nate always gave a half-smile when passersby complimented Coop. Every time he started to grin, his gaze drifted toward the excessive rust on the sides, the steadily spreading source of his lament. He felt helpless at the sight of it, but it wasn’t just the flaws that he could see. Coop tended to remind other people of another, simpler time. To Nate, Coop stood as a friend, as family and he wanted to repay the goodness given him.
From the time they’d first met, Nate made promises to fix up Coop, not empty promises, just overly optimistic ones. So it thrilled Nate to no end when another friend told him about a cheap, running Cadillac of the same year as Coop. He put a check in the mail and, as soon as he could, himself on a plane. He tried to imagine all of the parts he’d be able to swap out. Then he saw her. When he looked at Trixy, he saw the beauty. Tracing his hand along the subtle lines of Detroit steel, there were no parts, only the whole. Ignorance or blindness shielded him from the defective wiring or the heavily worn leather seats. He saw her as she was so long ago and moreover as what she could yet be.
Nate jumped behind the wheel to take her home. From the moment his duct-taped sneaker touched the gas pedal, in the instant his hand slid across the dusty dashboard, he found much more than her lost hope; there was love. By the time he’d reached Montana, she’d whispered her name to him over the worn asphalt of the freeway miles. Just before he reached his temporary homestead, he whispered back, “Trixy, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”
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Awesome pictures Nate. The use of lines and capturing the subject from different angles is impressive. I really like the last picture. The way the sun reflects off both the cars and turns your eye out to the edges helps to encapsule the whole picture and gives meaning to the subject, the cars, and the accompaniment, the mobile homes.
ReplyDeletei want to know more like who's treasure is it? Are they a work in progress, or a past car with memories? i think there could be a lot to a story with it, your title wants me to know more.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading how you brought this “love story,” together. I was certainly intrigued and amused by the way you personified the car. However, I think that when you describe the reunion of the cars the piece become stagnant and lacks as much energy as it could. Specifically, the line, “They only knew how they felt and that proved enough.” Was bothersome. I think that there needs to be more fire and lust described. Not describing the emotions seem like a cheap way out to me. I think if you can make this part of the piece really energetic and lustful, the piece will be much stronger.
ReplyDeleteHow could you describe the owners feelings and intentions of purchasing the cars with less “telling” and more “showing?”
the story is well composed, but when a reunion like this happens i want to feel more from both sides of the cars. They are both old and past their glory, but still cadillacs. i would like more personality from both cars.The coup deville has a name right? use it. Asking questions you are going to answer can be a bit tedious to my eyes when i read and it does not do too much for the car's character.
ReplyDeletehere are my questions designed to make you think about your writing:
1: What contrasts are there in the personalities of the cars?
2: What is your relationship to them individually now that they are both in your care?
Nate -
ReplyDeleteThere's a nice life to this piece that keeps it from being what appeared to be when we discussed it a sort of overly sentimental idea of a car love story. It's working so far, though, both amusing and personal.
I like the comments Scott and Riley offer - they seem to focus on developing the energy and the depth of character and story. I'd probably extend their comments a little by asking you what you see as the story here, and in particular, what's the climax? I think in part that's the question Scott's asking, by pointing to the place that seems like it should be climactic, the reunion scene. I also like Riley's observation that the Cadillac brand, even in old and out-of-date rusting hulks, should still account for something. It's like that Grey Gardens documentary with the two recluse socialites in their mansion on Martha's Vineyard - they are cut off and in that case a little crazy, but still believe in their elegance and social position.
Those seem to be plot and character questions - in other words, can you draw those out a little more?
I like the photographs too - they seem intentionally and thoughtfully composed, which is interesting, and one or two of them - like the first and last - show a really nice visual sense.
Kirk